Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit – Sex Toy Review
Did you know that today (December 4th) is National Cookie Day?! I did! Well… I know only because one of my favorite Youtube cooking shows “Binging with Babish” made the most amazing looking chocolate chip cookies yesterday in honor of today being National Cookie Day. So… that is a thing I know and a thing I wished to impart onto you… do with this information what you will. I highly encourage you to make like Cookie Monster and go eat ALL THE COOKIES! NOM NOM NOM!
Unlike the review I had for International Rabbit Day or Singles Day the review I have today has absolutely nothing to do with cookies, I’m sorry. It is just a coincidence that I have a review being released on what is International Cookie Day. Although… if you really want to stretch it… “cookie” is sometimes used as a cutesy slang word for vagina… and the today’s toy goes into a vagina… so therefore in some tangled web of a way… this is totally appropriate for National Cookie Day… So… yeah, Happy International Cookie Day you crazy cookie munching bunch (that sounds dirty, I mean actual cookies this time…)!
When Satisfyer sent me the Satisfyer Pro G Spot Rabbit my first reaction was “what the actual fuck?” I am used to my Satisfyer toys being wacky ear thermometers you rest on your clit and you just leave it alone while it does its thing and then orgasms happen… simple and to the point… that’s a toy I can really get behind. But now you want me to insert something while trying to manage the suction against my clit?! Rabbit vibrators are hard enough for me to manage… and now you expect me to keep my clit against the tiny bulls-eye whilst I insert something?! THIS IS MADNESS! Although, even thought I was THOROUGHLY skeptical I was also a bit excited… because I do have a bit of an ongoing love affair with my Satisfyer toys… they have rarely let me down… and this is something new and intriguing… and there is always the chance that it would be absolutely amazing… so even though I was skeptical, I was also eager to dive right in and test this baby.
Okay, fist off… my issue with dual stimulation toys (i.e. rabbit vibes) is that often times things just don’t size up properly for me. The clitoral arm might be too big, so I can’t fully insert the shaft unless I want to loose contact with my clit, or the arm is too short and all I’m getting is a little tickle and a tease and nothing else or worse yet the clitoral arms just out right suck on the vibration front and are just a useless appendage that the shaft would be better off without. Lots of reasons I am constantly wearing of rabbit toys… they are just so hard to get right (although when they do turn out well, I love them…like the FSOG Greedy Girl and the We-Vibe Nova). So, that is where my skepticism of the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit comes from…
Using the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit is like trying to bulls-eye womp rats in your T-16. Not impossible… but it seems to take either some skill or the right conditions to get it right. Once I inserted the shaft of the Satisfyer, the little clit cup was nowhere near my actual clit… I could actually hear my clit yelling “Oy, Hey buddy! I’m over here!” Also, apparently my clit sounds like its from Jersey… fuhgeddaboudit. It took me quite a bit of fiddling, spreading my labia wide, twisting he Satisfyer shaft this way and that, trying to find the right angel where my clit would actually line up and sit in the little cup. Eventually though, I did manage to get it worked out. However, once I got my clit settled, I couldn’t move the toy (much like the way I use the other Satisfyer toys) at all, otherwise I’d risk undoing all my hard work. I feel like some of the issues I was having with positioning could have been solved if somehow this toy had a more flexible clitoral arm, but as it is, it is completely rigid.
Another thing, I feel like Satisfyer should have just left this at “Satisfyer Pro Rabbit” because throwing that G-Spot in there just leads to me having a whole other load of expectations. Expectation number 1: It should hit my g-spot. Expectation number 2: It should actually be capable of stimulating my g-spot. Expectation number 3: It should stimulate my g-spot while the clitoral arm continues on with its business… everything working in harmony. I can tell you right now, I was a bit let down in a couple of these areas. First off, the shaft of this Satisfyer feels quite short to me (the total insertable length measured in at about 4 inches, which is actually not all that bad, but it really seems shorter to me in use). Okay, sure, it did manage to hit my g-spot… but that’s all it could do… You see, in order for me to orgasm with my g-spot, I’ve got to put pressure onto my g-spot, pressure I often achieve by thrusting hard back and forth against the top of my vagina. But if I do any thrusting at all with the Satisfyer my clit pops out of the little clitoral cup and I am back to square one. So if you are a thruster like I sometimes like to be, sorry… you’ll be disappointed with this one.
Okay… those complaints aside, all is not lost for the plucky little Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit! Once I put aside my desire for any g-spot action and just focused solely on the clit portion of the toy, things got better. I decided to treat it like I would any of my other Satisfyer toys and just place the nozzle down on its targeted area and let ‘er rip. So, at this point the shaft just became something I clenched around while I enjoyed the fluttering of the touchless pleasure wave technology of the Satisfyer. Now… this… this was good. I liked this. The suction however somehow felt weaker to me, my other Satisfyer toys seem to top out at clit murdering speeds that I can’t even handle… with this one, I felt like I kept cranking it up higher and higher and still ended up feeling like I wanted something more. I don’t know if this is because the suction actually is weaker or if it has something to do with the overall design and how hard it was for me to get it positioned onto my clit… maybe in the end, I still wasn’t completely over my clit and was off to the side. Whatever the reason… it wasn’t as satisfying for me as other Satisfyers have been and it was a really long and slow build up to my orgasm. Something neat about this toy though, the shaft has the ability to vibrate… which I liked. The vibrations weren’t anything earth shattering and I have definitely had stronger, but they were satisfyingly deep with a decent bit of rumble… it was nothing that would give me a g-spot orgasm on its own, but it was a fun little additive.
I’ve also got to say that I am a pretty big fan of the shape and angular design of the shaft… it is really comfortable to insert and did feel amazing inside. I would love a dildo or vibrator with just that shape (maybe a little girthier) without the stupid clitoral arm. If that arm wasn’t in the way, I could see that broad, angular head doing wonders for my g-spot. Oh well… you can’t win them all I guess. But if Satisfyer ever decides to just chop the arm off this thing and go with just a vibrator/dildo… I will be the first in line to pick that one up!
Controlling the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit is a pretty simple affaire (unlike trying to match my clit to the cup… which felt like a terrible arcade crane game I couldn’t win). On the handle is a set of three buttons, the first being the little wave looking button which operates the vibration component of the toy. Press and hold the wave button to turn the vibrations on then continue press to cycle through its 10 vibration modes (three constant speeds and seven patterns). The next buttons (which look like strong wi-fi and low wi-fi signals to me) control the clitoral arm portion of the toy. Press and hold the strong wi-fi button (the button closest to the wavey ripple button that controls the vibrations) and the suction part of the toy will spring to life. Then just use the two wi-fi looking buttons to cycle up or down in strength. And both the vibrating shaft and suction based arm can be used at the same time or separately… so if you just want vibrations, go for it! Or you just want the suction, have at it! Customize it baby!
The entire toy is pretty firm, from shaft the handle, with the exception of the removable nozzle which has just the littlest bit of squish to it. So if firm toys are not your thing, move along, you won’t like this. The shaft, where it meets the arm does have a small amount of flex to it… but it’s nothing to write home about. The whole toy (except for the rose gold plate around the buttons) is covered in a smooth matte silicone that is pretty delicious to the touch. Also, it is waterproof, which makes cleaning super easy (just remember to remove the nozzle, otherwise you’ll get a build up of gunk underneath) and giving you a possible shower time buddy! It is also charged via a magnetic charging cable with a USB end. Just stick the little pad to the little metal prongs on the toys back and you are set to charge… however the connection seems very weak to me and the magnet could have done with being a bit stronger. As it is, if I bump it or walk too hard past it, the charging cable knocks loose. So… be aware of that, otherwise you may think “oh, its been almost 3 hours, I bet my toy is charged up by now!” only to be disappointed when you realize that the cable came loose and your toy is in fact not charged up at all and you have to wait even longer to masturbate.
Recommendation? Well, I believe that there are people out there who are going to get a kick out of this toy. I think if you are the kind of person who enjoys just the feeling of fullness while working towards orgasm, you are probably going to like this toy. Also, if you are the kind of person who enjoys just focused vibration against your g-spot and you find the need to thrust completely unnecessary, again you are probably going to like this toy. But, if you are new to Satisfyers (or similar suction toys) and are thinking “ooh, I like insertable toys and I want to try a suction based toy, so I’ll get this one and kill two birds with one stone!” I would really recommend maybe trying out one of their simpler (non-insertable) toys first… I could see someone deciding they hate Satisfyers and suction based toys all together just because of this one toy alone and that would be a real shame, because Satisfyer does make some awesome toys (just not this one)… I just don’t think that the rabbit configuration is ideal for suction based toys… It was a nice attempt at something different, but I think it missed the mark. My personal preference would be to use something like the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation or the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration along side a stand alone dildo that I can use as I please and skip the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit all together. But… in general, the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit is an alright toy… it just didn’t work great for me, but I certainly won’t steer you away from it if you think its something that may work for you! And the price of this thing isn’t all that bad either, I was surprised to see that it was priced at nearly $60ish dollars. So while not exactly a beer budget toy, at least it isn’t a toy in the triple digits that you would feel super bad about hating if you shelled out big money and only used it once.
The Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit was provided to me free of charge by Satisfyer in exchange for my honest review.