Uberrime Jellyfish 2.0 – Sex Toy Review
When I got into the sex toy reviewing business there was a particular dildo that I really wanted to get my hands on, it was a fantastic pink and blue, cotton candy looking jellyfish. It was both whimsical and incredibly detailed…it was like no dildo I had ever seen before and I wanted it bad. Sadly for me, by the time I was actually in a position to purchase this magical beast the company, Whipspider Rubberworks was gone and so were my chances of finding a mythical jellyfish dildo. That is at least until Uberrime came to the rescue with the Uberrime Jellyfish 2.0, a tribute piece based on the original but with a few improvements based on feedback and reviews of the original Whipspider toy. So, at the behest of SheVibe, Jellyfish 2.0 was born… while similar to the original, Uberrime crafted this new version from scratch and put his own spin on the much beloved and much missed toy. While I am sad that I will probably never own the original Jellyfish (unless I find someone willing to part with theirs), I am super stoked to have brought home the Jellyfish 2.0 version! Not all heroes wear capes… some heroes wear nitrile gloves and play with silicone.
The Uberrime Jellyfish 2.0 ended up being much smaller than I was expecting (doesn’t this always seem to be the case? I must have a very large and very over-active imagination when it comes to dildos). It seems to be a pretty average human penis size (or at least what I’ve come to think of as average as it seems to closely match my Stunt Cock… although Stunt Cock has far fewer tentacles hanging from his penis head). Jellyfish 2.0 measures in with a total length of 6.5 inches without about 5.5 inches of that being insertable length and has a diameter of about 1.55 inches at the widest point of the shaft and 1.91 inches at the head. Just as a point of reference, the original Whipspider Jellyfish measured in at inches total length with 6 inches being insertable and about 1.5 inches at the widest point of its shaft (according to what I read on an old review at SheVibe). So the Jellyfish 2.0 is just a tad bit shorter and just a tiny smidgen wider at its widest point. The Jellyfish 2.0’s head is pretty impressive, it is very pronounced, with the ridge extending out roughly a quarter inch from the shaft… giving it quite the ridge (I tried really hard to come up with a coherent joke referencing the mid-ocean ridge and plate tectonics here, but came up empty handed), which really gives it a super POP against the pubic bone when thrusted. I love that pop… that pop is everything. All hail the penis pop…. err, I guess it isn’t really a penis… its a simple animal with radial symmetry… but you get what I mean.
Even though it’s name is Jellyfish 2.0, I haven’t actually addressed what this dildo looks like… I mean… I assume you know that it looks like a jellyfish… but then again, dildos these days have such random and wacky names… you just never know. So, the Jellyfish 2.0 does in fact look like a jellyfish… if a jellyfish was a dildo. It has that big mushroom looking head, which would be the body of the jellyfish and the shaft is made up of long, wavy, jellyfish tendrils… tentacles… legs? Is there a name for that? I feel like google could tell me… but… who has time to google (me, I have plenty of time to do that… I am just stubbornly refusing to do so) then the base is… just a base, nothing fancy or nautical themed about that.
Now, as I understand it, the texturing on the original Jellyfish was pretty intense and is something that has been toned down in Uberrime’s version. Made from a shore 5 silicone, the Jellyfish 2.0 is a squishy soft toy with a lot of bend and flex to it. So with softer silicone and more toned down tentacle texturing, the Jellyfish 2.0 does not feel at all like an assault on the vagina. Its kind of hard to describe what it does feel like… its got all these wavy ripples flowing down the shaft… its a goddamn experience slowly dragging that against my vaginal walls… it is a texture lovers dream come true. If this is a softer, more subtle version… I would have LOVED to have experienced the original (although one blogger described it as being “abrasive”)! But, as it is… I do have to keep the Jellyfish 2.0 well lubed (I’m all about the Sutil water based lube lately), or I do start to feel that kind of “raw” feeling I get with a dry dildo or very textured dildo… so maybe toning the original texture down was a good thing.
The base of the Jellyfish is flared and acceptable for anal use… I tried to put it in my butt, but it was too much for me… while that popping head feels great vaginally, I wasn’t a huge fan of it going into my butt… it was a bit startling… and the textures a bit too much, even though they are soft. The base is also really good at sticking to my desk and other assorted flat surfaces though… I don’t think it is intended to have a suction cup, but it seems to work like one (maybe not as strong a hold as something actually designed to suction)… so I guess thats a bonus! Unlike the original Jellyfish, the base of the Jellyfish 2.0 is graded subtly, making it a more harness friendly toy. I did not get around to testing it in my harness, as a jellyfish dick is just ridiculous! Actually… I haven’t tested it out of not knowing where my harness is at the moment-ness… but I bet it would be awesome. I’d like to peg someone with my gelatinous creature from the depths…
OH! And I haven’t even mentioned the coolest part of the Jellyfish 2.0 yet! IT FUCKIN’ GLOWS IN THE MUTHA-FUCKIN DARK! I frickin’ love when a toy glows… I don’t know why… it is just such a stupidly fun bit of novelty that gets me every time. If you put the Jellyfish 2.0 in some nice, bright, intense light (I put it under my desk lamp) for awhile to charge, you can get maybe a good 20 to 25 minutes of glowing from this thing! Oh, and also… glitter is another thing that really gets me going… and the Jellyfish 2.0 also has flecks of glitter all up in its body. I think Uberrime knows that they can just hand me a pile of glowing glitter and I’ll be all “YEP! THIS GETS A GOOD REVIEW! A+! LOVE THIS TOY.” They are on to me…
Okay… to recap, the Jellyfish 2.0 starts with a solid POP as the head pushes past the pubic bone then gives way to a beautifully textured shaft and ends with a flared base that is good for both anal and harness use… how can I not recommend the Uberrime Jellyfish 2.0? If you’ve already read my Night King and Dr. Manhattan reviews… you know that I love Uberrime, the silicone toys are really top notch and well designed, Marco does excellent work as master dildosmith (dildocraftsman…dongforger…?) and you can’t go wrong adding one of his creations to your collection. The Jellyfish 2.0 maaaaay not be the right dildo for everyone though, first off… its weird… not everyone likes weird… second, the texture, even though its been toned down from the original, may still overwhelm some folks. I could also see the very pronounced head being more then some might care for. But there is no doubt a group of us for whom the Uberrime Jellyfish 2.0 is a dream come true… those who love texture… those who have a passion for marine biology and masturbation… those who really enjoy that pubic bone pop… and those who, like me, were super bummed about missing out on the original Whipspider Rubberworks version. The price ain’t all bad either, you can get yourself a fabulously crafted silicone Jellyfish dildo for less than $100 (as of this post it’s retailing at $76)! And, if it turns out you hate it… it makes a fabulous art piece for your desk or fireplace mantle.
Can’t wait to catch an Uberrime Jellyfish 2.0? Well, you will have to swim on down to SheVibe, as the Jellyfish 2.0 is a dildo exclusive just to them! Available no where else… which means if you pick up the Jellyfish 2.0 you can join our super exclusive, super awesome club for people who went to SheVibe and bought a Jellyfish dildo, YAY!
The Uberrime Jellyfish 2.0 was provided to me free of charge by Uberrime in exchange for my honest review.