Satisfyer Mister Rabbit – Sex Toy Review
Satisfyer has this habit of sending me boxes full of sex toys without any advance notice… like… I will just arrive home and there will be a box waiting for my on my front step. I instantly become super suspicious of any unexpected package waiting for me… because I watch a lot of shows like Criminal Minds and 911 and immediately assume its a mail bomb… or possibly a severed head (because I watched the movie Sev7n at a very impressionable age… so if a box isn’t a mail bomb, then it is 100% the severed head of Gwyneth Paltrow). Thankfully, nearly every mysterious package turns out to be a box full of sex toys from Satisfyer (and the rest of the time its weird shit I don’t remember ordering from Amazon). I know I shouldn’t be complaining… because hey, it’s free sex toys right? But… mysterious mail spikes my anxiety into overdrive… so a little heads up would be nice… but… I guess HOORAY for boxes full of vibrators!
So anyway, I opened up one of these MyStErY boxes and… oh for pete’s sake, not another rabbit vibrator. You know how I feel about rabbit vibrators… and if you don’t know… well… go read every one of my rabbit vibrator reviews… because I express my opinion on them FREQUENTLY. This one doesn’t even have the decency to look like a rabbit. If you are going to continue to send me rabbit vibrators (the worst class of vibrators) you should at least make it look like an actual fucking rabbit. Seriously. If you are going to force me to use an insertable vibrator with an external arm… it had better have two little bunny ears, a fuzzy-wuzzy cotton tail, and a set of cutesy-wutesy whiskers coming from its itty-bitty bunny-wunny nose! Besides… you can’t call yourself the Satisfyer Mister Rabbit and not look anything at all like a rabbit. With the title of MISTER RABBIT… I am expecting a rabbit… a classy rabbit… a classy-ass rabbit in a mutha-fucking bowtie! But is that what you gave me?! NO! Instead of an adorable rabbit… I just get a chubby arm. I can forgive most rabbits for being terrible… so long as they look like an adorable bunny (take the Rocks-Off Ramsey Rabbit for example… it is fucking terrible at its one job… but its adorable as fuck… so I love the stupid thing). The Satisfyer Mister Rabbit is the furthest thing from being adorable… so lets just hope it isn’t terrible… fingers crossed…
So… Satisfyer, as you know (at least you would know if you’ve been keeping up with my reviews… which I hope you have…) has been one of my favorite companies for awhile now. I have really enjoyed (with a few exceptions) their line of suction based toys (e.g. the Satisfyer Pro Traveler and the Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation)… so I was somewhat excited to hear that Satisfyer was branching out into vibrators… although… I kept my expectations low… because they seemed to be pumping out A LOT of vibrators all at once… how on earth can you produce a quality vibrator if you are just cranking them out like… rabbits (haha… rabbit themed sex joke, I’m so funny). Also, I wasn’t super enthused with their suction/vibrator hybrids (like the monstrosity that is the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit…)… but maybe… just maybe… if they are concentrating on only the vibrating aspect, and not trying to cram the suction based gimmick onto everything… they will fair better. So… I guess you could say I was excited… but with a healthy amount of skepticism keeping me from getting my hopes too high. At any rate, I really did I look forward to getting my hands on and testing one of their new vibrators. Lucky for me… one of Satisfyers patented MyStErY boxes showed up at my door… with not one… not two… BUT LIKE EVERY FRICKIN’ VIBRATOR THEY HAVE EVER MADE EVER… so I would get my wish (and then some). Also, it’s safe to say… stay tuned for like a million Satisfyer Vibrator reviews in the future!
Okay, yes… yes… I can hear you saying “But Kitten! If you hate rabbit vibrators so much… why did you choose a rabbit vibrator as the first Satisfyer vibrator to test?! Clearly you had SO MANY others to choose from… I don’t understand!?” The answer to that is… I don’t fucking know. Seriously, I haven’t got a clue. Am I a glutton for punishment? Do I just like to whinge and whine? Do I secretly want to like rabbit vibrators… so I am riding across the kingdom, searching for my one true rabbit vibrator that is the perfect fit? Yes, probably all of the above. Or maybe I was just eager to get the worst vibrator out of the way first. Who knows… really, it was just the first one I grabbed from the box and I guess I just shrugged and thought “Sure, this works.” And off I went to masturbate without giving it a further though.
Okay, the whole it being a rabbit vibrator aside. I actually really like the look of this toy. I am especially fond of the design of the handle. The bottom of the Mister Rabbit is made with a bit of a loop… which makes it a great handle, I like that I can slip a finger or two through the loop… I just feel like I’m getting a better grip on the dildo that way. You don’t realize how necessary a good grip is until your hands are covered in lube…and things are slipping and sliding every which way. I am also a fan of the color… yes, I know its pink… and there are a number of you out there who can’t stand pink sex toys… but I can’t help it… I’ve always been a pink person (okay, not always, as a child I was totally against it… but I’ve embraced the pink as I’ve grown). At least this isn’t a sickly baby pink, it’s more of a vibrant magenta. Currently, pink is the only color the Mister Rabbit is available in… so if you are an anti-pink person, I’m sorry… but you can always masturbate in the dark! Another thing I’m enjoying about the Mister Rabbit is the silicone, it is super soft and very luxurious… I’m into it. Aesthetically speaking, this is an A+ vibrator.
But it can’t be all about the looks I’m afraid (unless you are shaped like an adorable animal, thing it 100% can be all about the looks). So, am I into how the Mister Rabbit works? Does it work?! Have I found the new Holy Grail of rabbit vibrators?! No… sadly I haven’t. BUT I don’t hate it. For me to not outright hate a rabbit vibrator… well that’s something. Mister Rabbit actually has a lot going for it… except for the being a rabbit part… that part is terrible (as expected). Once I inserted the toy, the arm was off doing its own thing… it felt like it was miles away from my clit, vibrating against the least sensitive area it could find. I ended up having to hold the external arm down onto my clit with my free hand to even make it work. So… as a rabbit… I am not recommending Mister Rabbit (unless you clit is placed higher up than mine is… then you might have more luck). HOWEVER… Mister Rabbit managed to give me one of the best damn orgasms I’ve had in months! I KNOW… I’m as shocked to say it as you are to hear it. It was wildly unexpected!
I’m not exactly 100% sure what happened… or how it worked this crazy magic… but I am pretty sure that the Mister Rabbit bypassed my g-spot and honed right in on my a-spot (the spot just beyond the g-spot, somewhere between cervix and the bladder). I clearly don’t experience this enough… because it was knock my socks off fantastic. Like, the Mister Rabbit even made me squirt… and that is a rare and wondrous thing when it happens to me! The vibrations of the Mister Rabbit aren’t particularly strong or numbly, but when focused through slightly hooked head… it got the job done. I wish I could just chop off that unnecessary external arm and just enjoy the main shaft as a stand alone vibrator. A quick note on size: the total length of the Mister Rabbit is 8.75 inches with 4.5 inches of insertable length.
Controlling the Satisfyer Mister Rabbit is done through a series of three buttons. First off, in the middle of the three buttons is the power button… it looks like a power button… with that power symbol. Press and hold that to turn the toy on, repeat to turn the toy off again. Below the power button, it a button that looks like a bunch of rings… that button is essentially the (+) button, it will cycle you up through the vibration intensities and through the pattern modes. The other button that looks nearly identical… only with fewer rings functions as a (-) button and will cycle you back down through the patterns and intensities. Pretty simple and straight forward. I find the buttons to be pretty conveniently placed and have had no issues hitting the buttons I want while using the toy (which is excellent… there is nothing worse than badly placed buttons).
The Satisfyer Mister Rabbit is rechargeable and arrives with its own magnetic charging cable. Plug the USB end into your computer or wall adapter (or straight into your wall if you are one of those fancy people with USB sockets right in their walls) and stick the magnetic end onto the butt of the rabbit and you are good to go. While it is charging, there is a flashing light, when that light is solid the Satisfyer Mister Rabbit is fully charged. It takes about 3 hours or so to get a full charge… I’m not sure how long a full charge lasts, I’ve yet to run my out of batteries. I’ve probably put in a good two hours worth of play time on this thing and its still going strong… but I imagine I’ve got to be close to running it down.
Here is my question though… why does the Satisfyer Mister Rabbit look nearly identical to the Fun Factory Lady Bi? It is practically a clone! And its not just this particular toy… each one of the new Satisfyer vibrators seem to have a Fun Factory counterpart! I feel like I am in some kind of sex toy Twilight Zone! Doppelgangers everywhere! I have seen some debate flying around on Twitter about this… there seems to be some questions about did Satisfyer just copy Fun Factory’s vibrators verbatim (which would be a pretty shitty move) or is Satisfyer somehow affiliated with Fun Factory and they are just re-using models they know sell well? I have yet to see a definitive answer on this… so I have no idea… the last thing I heard is that Fun Factory denied having any involvement with Satisfyer (which if true, I am very disappointed that Satisfyer played copycat and stole Fun Factory’s models). I’ve also never used the Fun Factory Lady Bi, so I can’t really tell you how they compare. I tried to do some digging of my own into the question and turned up with nothing useful… best I can say is both companies are from Germany… so… who knows what those crazy Germans are getting up to. If I ever find out a real answer… I’ll let ya’ll know. But what I can tell you is that the price tag on the Fun Factory Lady Bi is a whopping $159.99 while the Satisfyer Mister Rabbit look alike is only $49.99. That is a HUGE price difference… so I would be really interested in knowing how these two vibrators compare in a head to head match up… because if the Mister Rabbit is comparable to the Lady Bi… I’ll take the toy that doesn’t cost as much as my monthly grocery budget… thank you very much. I am a bit torn on this issue though… on the one hand, I am not in favor of one company stealing another companies designs and then passing them off as their own. However I have always been super interested in the Fun Factory vibrators, but the price tag has always been an issue for me… it is not something I can personally afford… and they aren’t items that are offered for review often (at least not to me)… so there is an accessibility issue there that Satisfyer is kind solving… because I can get something similar to the Fun Factory models at a price that I can actually afford… so I don’t know. This is in a gray area for me…
My recommendation? Well, as a rabbit vibrator… I’m not a fan. I don’t like the external arm, the size of it was too long for me and it didn’t hit my clit unless I held the arm down on top of it with my free hand. I also didn’t feel like the vibrations were particularly strong through the arm, so holding it down was a lot of work for what I felt was very little return. However… I can recommend the Mister Rabbit for the main body of the toy alone. I am 100% into the size and shape of this vibrator. So if you are curious about an a-spot orgasm, I can recommend the Mister Rabbit… just ignore the stupid external arm… think of it as an appendix… it doesn’t really serve a purpose… but it also doesn’t really hurt being there. Also, as I mentioned above… the price is right… at just under $50, its worth giving a try if you are at all curious about it. Also, knowing I (mostly) enjoyed the Mister Rabbit… it makes me slightly more comfortable with the idea of dropping the big bucks on the look-a-like Lady Bi… so maybe use the Satisfyer Mister Rabbit as your gateway vibrator… if you mostly enjoy this, then you’ll probably enjoy the more expensive Fun Factory toy (this is me assuming that the Fun Factory Lady Bi is somehow better… drawing on my Fun Factory experience, I’m guessing the vibrations will be stronger…)!
Ready to bring the Satisfyer Mister Rabbit home? Hop on over to one of my favorite online toy stores and they can hook you right up! Find the Mister Rabbit at: SheVibe, Peepshow Toys (use the code KITTEN for 10% off) and Betty’s Toy Box (use code KITTEN for 10% off here too)!
The Satisfyer Mister Rabbit was provided to me free of charge by Satisfyer in exchange for my honest review.